Rick Perry
Thanks
God, Satan
for Success
at Debate



wh by Walter Hicks
Post Atlanta Reporter
September 23, 2011
 




Texas Governor Rick Perry shocked everyone at the GOP presidential debate in Orlando Thursday night when he thanked both God and Satan for the success of his campaign.
"I want to thank God Almighty for watching over America, and I pray that we can restore her to her former self," said Perry to a cheering crowd.
He then followed with a quick, low volumed,
"And I pledge my soul and my legence to my master, the Dark Under Lord, for all my success."
The crowd stopped cheering abruptly.
"Well that takes care of that," said a smiling Mitt Romney.
Perry's campaign manager, Rob Johnson, later clarified the apparently conflicting remarks.
"Of course Governor Perry believes in God, and knows most of his constituents are devout Christians as well," Johnson said.
"He's just contractually obligated to acknowledge Satan at major events, as he sold his soul to have a shot at the White House."
Perry later released a statement claiming he's confident he can thread the needle between Christian conservatism and doing the Devil's bidding.
"I will do the Lord's work by campaigning with hate, fear and vengence," wrote Perry. "You see, in Texas, we can walk and chew gum at the same time."
Perry may want to reconsider his contract with Satan, considering he dropped 12 points in this morning's DNN poll.

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